we're blogging at a bar
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No subtext here. People are naked.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My life is pants optional.
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