dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I color on your dick again?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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