you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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