I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
