she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize