I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He better not be in your backpack
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
