Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize