At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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