You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
