his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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