carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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