guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
