You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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