She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
