dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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