THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm always down for nudity.
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