That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
