we're chasing vodka with high fives
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
