no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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