do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
