he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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