K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
