Your tits are I can't wait for
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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