I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
