My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
