the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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