ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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