I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
