i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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