remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
