I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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