I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
