Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize