I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
