i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Less talking, more tequila
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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