Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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