Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My balls are so social today.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize