And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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