Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
