Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
