It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize