glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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