I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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