im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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