I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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