you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
