I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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