At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
