I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
