You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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