Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
