just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
