found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
