If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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