Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
