I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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