paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
