Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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