I don't think brook has ever known best
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
