I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
