Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
