i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
