I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
