I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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