He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
