dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize