Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
