party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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